Ask a Friend
Bringing in other people to support you when you’re struggling can ease some of the difficulty in trying situations. The following are three coping skills that involve other people:
Bookends
When you are about to engage in a difficult or stressful task, such as meeting with an attorney, breaking up with a partner, or asking your boss for a raise, you can use “bookends.” That is, you call a trusted loved one, such as a friend or family member, before and after the difficult task. These calls place a metaphorical container around the situation that is increasing your stress. You can call the same person twice or call two different people. Pick what makes you feel most comfortable. To do this, you call your loved one to share your concerns about the upcoming task. You complete the task. Then, you contact someone who cares about you afterwards and you process what happened. You are also encouraged to call, verses text, because evidence shows that hearing the voice of someone that cares about you increase both you and your loved one’s sense of encouragement and bonding.
Try this the next time you have to do something about which you are stressed. See how this helps you manage distressing events.
Call a friend
Connecting with others is one of the most advanced coping skills in which we can engage. When you’re struggling, reaching out and talking to someone is huge. We solve our problems by verbalizing them. If you are not ready to talk about what is distressing in your life, sometimes it is helpful just to hear how someone else you care about is doing. Connection is key. A phone callas short as 5 minutes can help change your mood.
In addition to emotion regulation, calling a friend has a host of other benefits including, but not limited to, the following:
Decreases rates of loneliness;
Improves mood;
Decreases stress;
Fosters clearer communication.
Take a friend
You don’t have to do things alone. Whether you’re struggling to complete a mundane task, such as running errands, you’re nervous about a medical exam or a doctor’s appointment, or you want to feel loved and supported during a divorce proceeding, you don’t have to go through these activities or events by yourself. You can bring a friend. Ask a friend or loved one to join you. It’s that simple.
